work progressing...even if slowly.

Consequences be damned...it's time to face the music, no matter how dissonant the orchestra may be! I can't help but to lurk around the past...it got me thinking about all the people I have selfishly and inadvertantly mangled along my personal journey through life.

I am totally dedicated to living with the guilt...it's really the only active thing I can do now besides apologize...guilt also serves as a reminder...my way to prevent any future wrecklessness towards those important to me. I do realize, however, that apologies don't smooth the rough edges of my ragged decisions...but hopefully they will offer some consolation.

I have left spite churning in the wake of some of my previous relationships...and have, in the end, robbed myself of some genuinely enriching experiences. I have sat idly by while friends have suffered great losses...and chose inactivity over charity. These actions are completely inexcusable...even though some of these damaged souls were generous enough to offer me their forgiveness...

for this I am truly grateful.

For all the rest...those whom I (at one time or another) felt invited my clapperclaw of mass cuntyness...and for those who most certainly did not...

I'm sorry. I truly am.

For those who I have trespassed against...I wish you health and happiness, enriching travels with open and loving hearts along the way...I wish you all the things I was never able to give you...the antithesis of our past interactions.

For myself, I only strive to be a better person. I am willing to work hard for this...I'm willing to do this for those still with me and for those still left to come...and if I am lucky...for those I have hurt in the past.

My work in progress will be constructive...I will strive to be the greatness I see in my family and friends, and I hope someday to be a better person...always progressing but hopefully with less emotional casualties.